Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
