I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
