Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
