What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I deserve this hangover.
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