how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
