This girl is more easily done than said...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
