Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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