I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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