i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
