So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
