just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
