You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
