I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
