I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
