Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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