Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
