areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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