tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
