I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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