so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
