But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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