I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
whose ass print is on the piano?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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