soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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