I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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