we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
