So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
