I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
