Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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