and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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