it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
