I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
