The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
