oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
