there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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