i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
