He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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