Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
