never play flip cup with pint glasses
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
