is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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