I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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