The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
