rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
