It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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