rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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