will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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