so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
