U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
