The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
