guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
