i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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