My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
