i just made my gag reflex go away.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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